Hulver's site || London is...

London is...

big	8 votes - 88 %
noisy	7 votes - 77 %
smelly	7 votes - 77 %
a bit like DullTrev	2 votes - 22 %
my little joke	0 votes - 0 %
honest	0 votes - 0 %
but it is too full	2 votes - 22 %
though some of the people filling it are attractive young women	5 votes - 55 %
and walking down the street on a hot day can be bliss just because of that	6 votes - 66 %
or being jammed into the tube	3 votes - 33 %
so to speak	2 votes - 22 %
but I have to stoop	1 vote - 11 %
and keep my head down	1 vote - 11 %
which meant at one point I was staring right down some woman's top	6 votes - 66 %
because I couldn't raise my head without bashing it against the ceiling	1 vote - 11 %
she didn't seem to mind	4 votes - 44 %
but I did	1 vote - 11 %
I'm such a prude	2 votes - 22 %
mind, I'm not saying it wasn't a nice view	5 votes - 55 %
I just had a feeling I was about to be slapped	3 votes - 33 %
and deservedly	3 votes - 33 %
which brought on the guilt	1 vote - 11 %
I can never just live in the moment, can I?	3 votes - 33 %
Hopefully it'll be cooler next time	2 votes - 22 %
though part of me hopes it isn't	2 votes - 22 %

9 Total Votes

Crowd-surfing? Crowd-ploughing | 44 comments (44 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback

I think you should pursue... by Metatone (4.00 / 2) #1 Wed Jun 13, 2007 at 03:10:38 AM EST

the path of associating yourself with conferences filled with attractive young women. It's the only right thing to do.

London by Phage (2.00 / 0) #2 Wed Jun 13, 2007 at 04:52:01 AM EST

Is like any other city. You don't just plod along admiring the view. If you're going to amble, get out of the feckin way !. Your height is an advantage in the open concourses. Use it to spy out the path of least resistance, and to intimidate the feckless.

Heh - You listened to some marketing droid. That's 10 IQ points you'll never get back.

Labour - Shmabour, they'll all too busy drinking their lattes and thinking up new ways to pass another slightly more restrictive law. For your own good of course. Bastards are worse than Thatcher, in that they do as much harm but they do it insidiously, and with a smarmy grin for your own good. No wonder you're depressed.
Vote 1 Breaker and the Rational Party.

+1 inappropriate cleavage poll.

The Czar of Accounting. No Nit Too Small To Pick

no such thing by clover kicker (4.00 / 2) #3 Wed Jun 13, 2007 at 05:38:54 AM EST

as inappropriate cleavage...

[ Parent ]

: An Essex builders by Phage (4.00 / 2) #5 Wed Jun 13, 2007 at 06:30:24 AM EST

Errrr. Bicycle parking ?

The Czar of Accounting. No Nit Too Small To Pick
[ Parent ]

Bah by DullTrev (2.00 / 0) #12 Wed Jun 13, 2007 at 09:30:59 AM EST

I'm just not good at intimidating people. It's rude...

I'm thinking of demanding you all vote for me, instead. I mean, we could put together enough for a deposit for a few of us in various constituencies...

--
DFJ?
[ Parent ]

: As I've said to Breaker by Phage (2.00 / 0) #14 Wed Jun 13, 2007 at 09:38:24 AM EST

I am semi-serious about setting up a new party. I have no faith in any of the cuurent lot.

The Czar of Accounting. No Nit Too Small To Pick
[ Parent ]

You visited Londinium by Breaker (2.00 / 0) #4 Wed Jun 13, 2007 at 06:04:46 AM EST

And didn't even call us out for a pint?

For shame, Sir!

Also, if you're going to be down here a bit, get used to the busses you need - far more comfortable than the Tube. Not as quick, but nowhere near as savage.

I am always surprised by Phage (4.00 / 2) #6 Wed Jun 13, 2007 at 06:36:03 AM EST

At how nice it can be to walk the streets. It can be surprisingly fast. Also frippet-o-rama.

Did you see the walking tube map ?

The Czar of Accounting. No Nit Too Small To Pick
[ Parent ]

Oh yes. by Breaker (4.00 / 1) #7 Wed Jun 13, 2007 at 06:48:45 AM EST

I avoid the tube as much as I can.

A really good site to use is Walkit

[ Parent ]

That's pretty cool by Phage (2.00 / 0) #8 Wed Jun 13, 2007 at 07:05:54 AM EST

Thx.Bookmarked.

The Czar of Accounting. No Nit Too Small To Pick
[ Parent ]

Fat lot of good *that* did. by ammoniacal (4.00 / 2) #27 Wed Jun 13, 2007 at 03:40:54 PM EST

This coomenat has be n soidnsord by hurricanbe ice malt liqur
[ Parent ]

Heheh! by Breaker (4.00 / 1) #33 Thu Jun 14, 2007 at 05:50:00 AM EST

That's pretty much what the Canuckistanis did when they were over...

[ Parent ]

: No comment. by ambrosen (4.00 / 2) #41 Thu Jun 14, 2007 at 10:11:13 AM EST

[ Parent ]

Brilliant map by motty (2.00 / 0) #13 Wed Jun 13, 2007 at 09:36:14 AM EST

No Tuberide

I amd itn ecaptiaghle of drinking sthis d dar - Dr T
[ Parent ]

London by jump the ladder (4.00 / 1) #9 Wed Jun 13, 2007 at 07:47:29 AM EST

Dunno why you provincials have such a love/hate awe struck relationship with it. Yes you have to change your feelings on personal space because the overcrowding on public transport and walk a bit faster in the busy areas.

But it doesn't change your basic personality unless you are very malleable anyway. If you want to hang around with cocksuckers like the guys you mentioned (obvious out towners and provincial wannabes btw) then do go ahead and change it.

It's all in your mind and your pre-existing neuroses and stereotypes of the big smoke.

love/hate awestruck by DullTrev (2.00 / 0) #11 Wed Jun 13, 2007 at 09:27:19 AM EST

It's because we're secretly all jealous of you.

It all depends on what you class as your basic personality... To me, part of who I am is being (perhaps excessively) polite, and seeing people being so devastatingly rude to each other all the time annoys me. Granted, this is possibly down to some deep-seated psychological flaw with myself, but I can't help but feel that a city which appears to turn people into rude, self-obsessed, arrogant wankers probably has some problems.

Maybe I just need to hang around people who aren't

civil servants
involved in politics
involved in politics and the media
or in marketing

I can imagine that helping quite a bit, actually...

--
DFJ?
[ Parent ]

Shrug by jump the ladder (2.00 / 0) #15 Wed Jun 13, 2007 at 09:40:29 AM EST

London's just a place. Just that you seemed to exhibiting love/hate awestruckness which I was commenting on.

Rudeness, I've lived in Manchester and I didn't find it particularly friendly or polite. Maybe a bit less hectic and bit more laid back but still a large British city like London.

Think as you said it's your choice of career/interests that's the problem rather than London itself.

[ Parent ]

: It's just a middle-class socialist thing by R Mutt (4.00 / 4) #16 Wed Jun 13, 2007 at 09:50:31 AM EST

Being committed to the masses shouldn't mean he has to ride in the same Tube...

[ Parent ]

Aiiieeeeee by Phage (4.00 / 3) #17 Wed Jun 13, 2007 at 10:11:14 AM EST

He's thrown a soul crushing spell +4 !

civil servants
involved in politics
involved in politics and the media
or in marketing

The Czar of Accounting. No Nit Too Small To Pick
[ Parent ]

WIPO by Dr H0ffm4n (2.00 / 0) #10 Wed Jun 13, 2007 at 08:53:48 AM EST

Big
Noisy
Small
Quiet
Smelly
Redolent
Dirty
Clean
Fast
Slow
Full
Empty

holisticism by yicky yacky (4.00 / 1) #18 Wed Jun 13, 2007 at 10:16:18 AM EST

"As a whole, how are you liking London?"

"As a hole, it's exemplary. As a city, it leaves something to be desired."

London is a hole. No more hole-some than Manchester or Liverpool. Or Newcastle. Or Middlesbrough. Or Bristol or Leeds or Sheffield. But a hole regardless. A larger hole, certainly. A large hole with more mass. Therefore more gravity. Therefore a more encompassing event horizon. Making escape more burdensome. But just a hole regardless. People take pride in its size. But it's really all they've got. To cling to. Or they'll get sucked down. Into its maw. Because it's just a hole. A big hole, sure. But just a hole.

----
Done.

It is notable by ambrosen (2.00 / 0) #20 Wed Jun 13, 2007 at 10:59:25 AM EST

that you left my own city, England's second largest, out of that list. I suspect it was unintentional, though. ;)

[ Parent ]

Birmingham by yicky yacky (4.00 / 2) #21 Wed Jun 13, 2007 at 11:23:34 AM EST

or "The Midlands Conurbation" if we're being strictly accurate, is in a class all of its own. Possibly in special needs.

----
Done.
[ Parent ]

: Heh by ambrosen (2.00 / 0) #22 Wed Jun 13, 2007 at 12:15:09 PM EST

I said hometown, not current residence, didn't I? And if it's the Midlands conurbation, why didn't you mention South Lancashire or Merseyside for accuracy.
Anyway, IHBT, but willingly so.

[ Parent ]

WIPO by G1itch (2.00 / 0) #19 Wed Jun 13, 2007 at 10:26:03 AM EST

Raining and full of people.

London folks by MillMan (4.00 / 2) #23 Wed Jun 13, 2007 at 01:21:05 PM EST

A lot like New Yorkers only fussier.

Among all the English peeps I met during my week long visit, I liked the Northerners almost exclusively more than the locals.

When I'm imprisoned as an enemy combatant, will you blog about it?

I like London by Merekat (4.00 / 3) #24 Wed Jun 13, 2007 at 01:40:26 PM EST

It is the only city I've found so far where the general speed of people walking matches mine.

Spending taxes on marketing in the Public Sector-- by ammoniacal (4.00 / 2) #25 Wed Jun 13, 2007 at 03:17:52 PM EST

This coomenat has be n soidnsord by hurricanbe ice malt liqur

"Communications" by DullTrev (4.00 / 1) #26 Wed Jun 13, 2007 at 03:39:15 PM EST

To make sure we all know our rights.

Not to tell everyone how great the top executives are. At all.

--
DFJ?
[ Parent ]

That would be a first by Phage (2.00 / 0) #28 Thu Jun 14, 2007 at 03:40:46 AM EST

Can you point out some examples ?

The Czar of Accounting. No Nit Too Small To Pick
[ Parent ]

To be serious for a moment... by DullTrev (2.00 / 0) #29 Thu Jun 14, 2007 at 05:01:01 AM EST

Tax credits tv ads.

--
DFJ?
[ Parent ]

Fair enough by Phage (2.00 / 0) #30 Thu Jun 14, 2007 at 05:05:00 AM EST

Should we looking for some tall genial bloke on the small screen then ?

The Czar of Accounting. No Nit Too Small To Pick
[ Parent ]

Good lord by DullTrev (4.00 / 1) #31 Thu Jun 14, 2007 at 05:21:39 AM EST

I just sit near these people, don't ever make the mistake of thinking I am one of them.

I feel all dirty at the thought.

--
DFJ?
[ Parent ]

<grin> by Phage (4.00 / 1) #32 Thu Jun 14, 2007 at 05:24:41 AM EST

Damned by association.
So where are based normally then ?

The Czar of Accounting. No Nit Too Small To Pick
[ Parent ]

Normally? by DullTrev (2.00 / 0) #34 Thu Jun 14, 2007 at 05:53:58 AM EST

Manchester.

Abnormally, Victoria Street.

--
DFJ?
[ Parent ]

I still think you should tell us by Phage (2.00 / 0) #35 Thu Jun 14, 2007 at 06:10:03 AM EST

When you come down. Wwe could organise a coffee if a beer doesn't appeal.

The Czar of Accounting. No Nit Too Small To Pick
[ Parent ]

I would by DullTrev (2.00 / 0) #36 Thu Jun 14, 2007 at 06:19:43 AM EST

But none of you exist. You're all names on a computer screen, figments of my imagination.

Though I have voted in your LHusi poll...

--
DFJ?
[ Parent ]

: That's OK by Phage (4.00 / 1) #37 Thu Jun 14, 2007 at 06:36:04 AM EST

the beverages are also completely virtual. As is the cash you'll be using to buy your round.

The Czar of Accounting. No Nit Too Small To Pick
[ Parent ]

But it's a dry heat! by Cloaked User (2.00 / 0) #38 Thu Jun 14, 2007 at 08:10:21 AM EST

That's the one (1) good thing about the company having moved to Hammersmith - I no longer have to use the Devil's own Tube line (the Central Line - it's even red!).

--
This is not a psychotic episode. It is a cleansing moment of clarity.

That's another thing by DullTrev (2.00 / 0) #39 Thu Jun 14, 2007 at 08:15:58 AM EST

On the way back to Euston on the Sunday, they kept announcing that they recommended you carry a bottle of water with you, and what to do if someone collapsed. I can't help but feel that's a bad sign in a transport system...

--
DFJ?
[ Parent ]

Less of a transport system by Phage (4.00 / 2) #40 Thu Jun 14, 2007 at 09:03:55 AM EST

More of an illegal gambling device. You pay your money, and see where you end up. Rather like roulette really.

The Czar of Accounting. No Nit Too Small To Pick
[ Parent ]

Indeed by Cloaked User (2.00 / 0) #42 Thu Jun 14, 2007 at 11:20:24 AM EST

Apparently part of the problem is that it's not possible to install air conditioning on the "deep" lines, such as the Central Line. No explanation as provided as to why it's not possible, or if (as I suspect) it's just too expensive as they'd have to dig/drill (more) ventilation shafts, or air condition the network rather than the trains, etc.

So what we get is some vague talk of them working hard to alleviate the problem, and useless advice about carrying water and getting off if you start to feel unwell. Meanwhile the problem gets worse as passenger numbers slowly creep up... (Not to mention paying more for the privilege as fares go up every year, but that's another rant entirely)

See, I'm not entirely being a soft southern pansy when I moan about the state of the Tubes.

--
This is not a psychotic episode. It is a cleansing moment of clarity.
[ Parent ]

: Soft southern pansy by DullTrev (4.00 / 2) #43 Thu Jun 14, 2007 at 11:57:17 AM EST

Complaining about the Tube is just one symptom amongst many.

--
DFJ?
[ Parent ]

Something about London by nebbish (2.00 / 0) #44 Mon Jun 18, 2007 at 06:27:44 AM EST

I think it's the anonymity and freedom it gives you, that makes you get on with stuff - whether that's art, or writing, or getting involved with a political party, etc.

I felt quite claustrophobic in Leeds and didn't really feel that I could go and push myself, but it's different in London. I feel guilty if I'm not.

--------
It's political correctness gone mad!

Crowd-surfing? Crowd-ploughing | 44 comments (44 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback


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